coming soon: revelation 2005

so on the front of my own personal existential crisis, i just want to provide this brief update, with the promise of much more to come. for years i have committed my thoughts to writing very infrequently. i started this web journal in an attempt to use writing to help me progress from the depths of insecurity, fear, and cynicism towards an attitude of confidence, compassion, maturity, and optimism. simply expressing ideas and cataloging my own personal memespace and sharing it with a friend and random passerby here and there, as well as the simple passing of time, has already done wonders for me. but last night, watching the final two episodes of "twin peaks" sent me into an acid flashback of sorts that culminated in a complete shattering and reevaluation of my entire life over the past five and a half years. the only way i could think to procede was to start writing. i wrote for 90 minutes, 2600 words, 4 pages single-spaced 12-point font. some really important personal connections were revealed to me through my writing, and i intend to reread it in a couple of days, edit it a bit, change some names, and possibly post an incarnation of it and\or share it with my therapist. suffice it to say that right now i am the happiest and most confident i have been in years. the first revelation was a slow one that developed over the past three weeks, the second being an instantaneous one occurring fifteen minutes after completion of my viewing of "twin peaks." i can't imagine that this series would have the same effect on anyone else, but depending on where you are in your life and where you are headed, you may want to go ahead and give it a shot. it might just help you come that much closer to reaching your potential as a human being. !